BK’S Budget Law

Have you ever wanted to get one of these babies?

Mouth Watering..

Or one of these?

Orgasmic…

Or even?

 FUCK yeah…

But you need to bust your piggy bank before dreaming on having any of these. DONT FRET ANYMORE!!! With BK’s Budget law, you never have to have those wet dreams again. You can have your REAL WET ADVENTURES with all your new gadgetry after following just a few steps.

AND NO, you do not have to be like of these kids,

But you can continue living the american dream with BK’S law. Now let me begin;

Things you need to begin your almighty adventure;

• Cereal x 2 each week
• Rice Milk x 2 each week
• Instant Easy Mac x 2 each week
• Rich Friends x ## everyday (The more the merrier)
• Iron body x 1 everyday
• Kiasu Spirit x 100 every hour
•  Canning College Chemistry/Physics Session x 1 every week

Bear in mind the consequences that you may suffer;

You may suffer from severe disorders and permanent stomach derangement. You may also experience headaches and traumas due to lack of solid food and cancerous intake every day. Some also may lose their mental as result they go crazy and may not proceed through the rest of their lives properly. You may also be referred as someone who is selfish and irrelevant to the community of sharing. You may also contract AIDS and HIV due to sharing of food (Blood spillage).

BUT……………. (DUH) you can get some big bucks at the end of the day so who cares about the consequences. Just think, DSLR in your grabby wetty hands, wankering with the PS3 and caressing the iPhone 3GS at the very moment, you soon will forget everything and strive for the goal you once and always dreamt of.

Upper relation : Stationery. Bottom relation : Consumables. X-Axis : Money thrown away (Days). Y-Axis : Money kept for selfish humanitarian efforts (AUD)

From there, we can see that Canning and probably applicable to most overseas student the net growth of their money. Possibly in the mid term holidays or the end of year holidays, the individual who followed my instruction carefully may indeed get their dream item. Therefore we can see a breaking point in both of these time frame. So go save the rest and spend at the end of the year.

***

Consumables can be taken as the most USELESS necessity that we have to buy. What for we buy something that ends up coming from our A-Hole in the end? This is preposterous. Therefore, by reducing such needs, we can save much money for our USEFUL items that cannot be eaten but are utilize properly.

So, if we were to consume food, we must take great measures to reduce our diet and prepare for the upcoming stomach growling that can be heard in early mornings of our classrooms.

What you may have for breakfast?

Dogs can eat human food, so why cant human eat theirs?

What you may have for lunch?

 

If Bosnia kids can do it, why cant we?

What you may have for dinner?

Ditch those solid food and grab some nutritious cereal. You may even get free reading material from it TO IMPROVE YOUR VOCAB AT THE SAME TIME. How is that two for one shot?

WAH. Now I can improve my knowledge while eating my FAVOURITE cereal.

But on Tuesdays, you may bulge a little by heading to where all Communists Asians and Whites flock to everyday. Call it heaven, call it cheap but I call it 5.99! for one whole pizza!

Dominoes!!! Mans new best friend

You can also learn from Singaporeans the form of the KIASU SPIRIT or manipulate rich friends for your needs. Just stand by at the canteen door until you see one of your well trusted and beloved friends during lunch time, and when they buy wedges or chips, raid the table where they are sitting and pretend you are very close with them while taking their food at the same time. You never know how much you can save just by doing that.

One..

Two…

Three.

Another part of saving money is being wise and stingy in stationery. In college, do not use PEN as they also allow you to USE PENCILS. Save money on ink and use Pencils. The pen was always mightier than the sword but pencils are far mightier than both of the combine.

Paper? No problem. Recite after me, “Teacher ar, I no paper..” to your chemistry or physics teacher. Make sure you show your puppy face and your blur blur face. And there you go!! Free paper!

Eat Take all you want buffet

Now, all you need is spirit and courage to go through. People from Malaysia no need scared come here, life here is actually cheap if you know the secrets of maintaining a healthy budget. Perth is not expensive but it is the students who make their lives expensive. Just follow few rules of BK’s Ultimate Budget Law and you can forgo you wasteful life to a meaningful life with all your gadgetry needs.

Don’t expect to find kolok mee here like RM2 though. You can always go Mc Donald and eat a cone of ice cream for 50 cents. Wi-Fi also free ma.

What for buy internet? Go Mac Donald free porn surfing

So any enquiries of my Ultimate LAW OF SUPERBERBISH LAW BUDGET, you can always dial my personal line;

04-DO-NA-TION

Thank you.

 

PS: It’s kind’a hard blogging after you fail your physics test…

Durian!

Myth or Fact?

PS: Just experimenting with macro shots.

Bilik “Termenung”

The title literally means the dreaming room. Gone are the days that I remember that my school toilet cubicles were labelled as “Bilik Termenung 1”, “Bilik Termenung 2”, etc from graffiti by our beloved creative students (Malaysian students often fantasize their ‘ wet dreams’ awfully too ‘real’ in toilets) Apparently, Australians also do in fact have this urge to do the same art.

Look at how brilliant Canning Students are..

in illustrating their ideas

Somewhat, Australians do have this knack of publishing ideas “theoretically true” at the same time. A sense of teamwork let alone the leadership shown in creating art is clearly expressed in the canvas. Brilliant how our young kids progress these days aren’t they?

As I was about to engage myself in activities in the toilet I was mesmerize by how well thought this graffiti were. They were placed at the finest spots where I felt proud for once to be a human. The male species especially.

It did clearly explain how sexual intercourse was initiated.

That’s why vibrators became a more popular toy

In an instant I was proudly aiming my toy around the toilet bowl, watching the yellowish- liquid swirl around the rimming of the white spotless bowl, knowing what men was actually capable of. Creating life, reproducing, trading genetic information and induce an unexplainable pleasure.

And when you do miss someone dearly,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…do not hesitate. Aim.

Dicks are such useful organs.

But even graffiti wasn’t only limited to students. Teachers also have the capacity to indulge in such luxurious activities.

Unfortunately it was on my calculator that he found.

Don’t tell me why I left the sticker there, but it has outstanding novelty value

PS: I lost my calculator in the physics lab then he returned or borrowed (as he stated) the next day. Though much thanks are given to him. =)

So if your ever lost, in need of help. Just pay a visit to the toilet and make new friends just with a marker in expense. You never know what you may find.

Life's difficult question answered

 

Taken from http://xkcd.com/229/ (In text referencing duh)

Eating Outside

You were prepared for dinner your friends cooked then you eagerly await that final seasoning he had to put in. The smell was sinfully excruciating filled with overdosed pepper and a tint of basil on top.  Grasping the cutlery tightly, you were about to feast your eyes on the most so thought fascinating food that he had promised.

Snow White Fried Rice

Sorry about my absence lately. Been lazy these couple of weeks but I finally updated my blog with an entry that I always wanted to post since I came here. And you guess it (alternatively it’s already stated in the title), it is about consumables.

When you first arrive in Australia, you will thought that it will be in a bustle of clean restaurants, fine dining popping up every mile, finger licking good fast food and corner wine stores, and yes all of that is certainly true. Though, it lacks of one important ingredient that made most Asian countries unique in taste. That is;

Hawker Centres

Photos are all taken from Kuching, Sarawak and may be taken from other blogs. Apologies in advance before bashing starts to occur in my innocent blog.

 

Why would anyone like a store filled with blood sucking mosquitoes, dense filled brown cockroaches, non air-condition buildings, dirty plastic tables and sound pollution in every degrees?

One word, distinctiveTASTE. (That’s one word aint’ it?")

That run down look that foreigners beg to have

Whether they poured detergent all over our mee kolo, you will never ever get to obtain that same taste in Australia at ALL. The environment itself is non comparable with the “Back to Nature” surroundings that Malaysia has. Music itself also isn’t enough to do battle with those soothing ‘Apek and Ama” talk you hear at every kopitiam (Coffee Shop).

Who needs this when you got..

This ‘Authentic’ Asian Look

So Perth itself in my opinion should just do 4 important steps to improve their dining diversity and quality.

P – unPrudence (The lack of carefulness and caution of the food they cook  can resultantly improve the quality and eminence of their menu)

O – Options (A dash of pepper, 0.5mg of Curry Bean Curd, 0.125ml of Soya sauce and a half a bottle of wine in our Broth. Don’t forget to put alot of oil)

R – Reek (Without the sufficient oily, grimy and filthy surroundings, the optimum conditions for food molecules cannot be achieve. That run-down look is a must!)

N – Necessities (If you keep on selling noodles rather than Mee in stores, nothing can be done)

So just remember the 4 steps PORN, watch how people execute this 4 steps, PORN and probably do this 4 steps PORN.

***

So Perth, please, help us bring back that Asian look into our suburbs or cities. We will be entirely glad if you do this for us.

You wouldn’t want to end up in this conversation;

Girl : Eh, wanna’ go Yam cha tonight?

Boy : Ok. Sure very romantic wan.

Girl : Cibiet Boyfriend

For your information, most shops closed at 5.30pm except fast food stores in Perth.