Bitchy Days

As the time I’m writing now, there is 27 more days before I reach to the end of my journey… AWW CUT THE CRAP.

I’m going to see all those peeps back in Kuching and finally get to experience Malaysia like a Malaysian. As you may wondered, why am I going all goofy on somewhat a BORING AND INDECENT place like Kuching? Let ME tell you one thing, when you live somewhere else, you do have this sense of insecurity inside oneself and you feel loneliness that you may have never experience.

FCUK, let me give you some insightful examples;

You start acting like a bitch/KENNY

You feel small in this BIG WORLD

Now you understand why some people go gay or awkwardly crazy when they are out from their original states they were born into. But no, that’s not it. With so much assignments, test and exams reaping into your door every moment, you ALSO start cursing foul words and turn/twist different profanity to express your sorrows and anger.

Eg.

NICK (This does depict any real person) : CHEEBYE. 98 in Physics NIA!

Bryan : ZZZ…

~~~

YII FUNG (This also does not depict any real person) : Aiya never study one la. Chemistry also very hard for me le.

The following day.

YII FUNG : 95% NIA!

Bryan : ZZZ.. Bitch

~~~

How about those many times where words are used indecently and involuntary as our mouth muscles are not in control? You tried to control your motor mouth and show that you are indeed a downright down-to-earth goodwill person but it just came out of the sudden. This is what we call

GLOBALIZATION

Don’t you think its wierd when you hear Africans say CHEEBYE out of nowhere. Hokkien people should be praise of their efforts in educating the global community. Why is that so? Cheebye, Lanjiao, Kan Ni Na, Pu bo, Pu Kang is some of the most common words used today. And where did it came form, us HOKKIENS. WE SHOULD BE PROUD AS I am indeed proud to be one of this visionaries.

Before I stray too far, let me get back.

Bitch!

CheeBye!

Awesome!

Damn!

Yes, my world is filled with this type of westernised and hokkienized words. That is what I learnt in Australia. This words can be indeed useful.

So I’m telling you, there is no wrong in profaning everyday. It is used everytime. If anyone is to say that were you raised in the longkang, you can always say that my MUMMY AND PAPA ALSO SAY THAT WHEN DRIVING LE. OK, done deal.

As soon as we learn the many ways to communicate, we can even write pitiful stories with profanity to give it more feeling.

 

 

~~~

Girl : I want you to bring me to somewhere expensive ok, not KFC.

Lanjiao Boyfriend.

Virginity Alert

Later Cibai Hooker also got

Shit, a dickhead.

 

Yes, Australians come with the most brilliant franchise names.

Note: My blog is not dead yet. Is just that I’m lazy. Will update shortly

Sanity

• The smell of stainless steel.
• The smell of oily and supposedly good cooked food.
• The smell of ‘Ikan Bilis’ reeking into my door.
• The budget that is screaming at me “Don’t eat and SAVE!”
• The claustrophobia of an innocent student facing in a small confined room.
• The not-so vague calculus notes that I have to learn.
• The blunt loneliness surrounded by all the well spoken Chinese conversers.
• The annoying landlord that seeks to stalk every movement in the house.
• The brimming stress that exams and test are like every week.
• The unavailability of new Avenged Sevenfold albums
• The closure to final exams that take up to 50% of your term marks.
• The responsibility to get top 3 in Call of Duty : World at War online each game.

How am I suppose to keep my SANITY check?

BK’S Budget Law

Have you ever wanted to get one of these babies?

Mouth Watering..

Or one of these?

Orgasmic…

Or even?

 FUCK yeah…

But you need to bust your piggy bank before dreaming on having any of these. DONT FRET ANYMORE!!! With BK’s Budget law, you never have to have those wet dreams again. You can have your REAL WET ADVENTURES with all your new gadgetry after following just a few steps.

AND NO, you do not have to be like of these kids,

But you can continue living the american dream with BK’S law. Now let me begin;

Things you need to begin your almighty adventure;

• Cereal x 2 each week
• Rice Milk x 2 each week
• Instant Easy Mac x 2 each week
• Rich Friends x ## everyday (The more the merrier)
• Iron body x 1 everyday
• Kiasu Spirit x 100 every hour
•  Canning College Chemistry/Physics Session x 1 every week

Bear in mind the consequences that you may suffer;

You may suffer from severe disorders and permanent stomach derangement. You may also experience headaches and traumas due to lack of solid food and cancerous intake every day. Some also may lose their mental as result they go crazy and may not proceed through the rest of their lives properly. You may also be referred as someone who is selfish and irrelevant to the community of sharing. You may also contract AIDS and HIV due to sharing of food (Blood spillage).

BUT……………. (DUH) you can get some big bucks at the end of the day so who cares about the consequences. Just think, DSLR in your grabby wetty hands, wankering with the PS3 and caressing the iPhone 3GS at the very moment, you soon will forget everything and strive for the goal you once and always dreamt of.

Upper relation : Stationery. Bottom relation : Consumables. X-Axis : Money thrown away (Days). Y-Axis : Money kept for selfish humanitarian efforts (AUD)

From there, we can see that Canning and probably applicable to most overseas student the net growth of their money. Possibly in the mid term holidays or the end of year holidays, the individual who followed my instruction carefully may indeed get their dream item. Therefore we can see a breaking point in both of these time frame. So go save the rest and spend at the end of the year.

***

Consumables can be taken as the most USELESS necessity that we have to buy. What for we buy something that ends up coming from our A-Hole in the end? This is preposterous. Therefore, by reducing such needs, we can save much money for our USEFUL items that cannot be eaten but are utilize properly.

So, if we were to consume food, we must take great measures to reduce our diet and prepare for the upcoming stomach growling that can be heard in early mornings of our classrooms.

What you may have for breakfast?

Dogs can eat human food, so why cant human eat theirs?

What you may have for lunch?

 

If Bosnia kids can do it, why cant we?

What you may have for dinner?

Ditch those solid food and grab some nutritious cereal. You may even get free reading material from it TO IMPROVE YOUR VOCAB AT THE SAME TIME. How is that two for one shot?

WAH. Now I can improve my knowledge while eating my FAVOURITE cereal.

But on Tuesdays, you may bulge a little by heading to where all Communists Asians and Whites flock to everyday. Call it heaven, call it cheap but I call it 5.99! for one whole pizza!

Dominoes!!! Mans new best friend

You can also learn from Singaporeans the form of the KIASU SPIRIT or manipulate rich friends for your needs. Just stand by at the canteen door until you see one of your well trusted and beloved friends during lunch time, and when they buy wedges or chips, raid the table where they are sitting and pretend you are very close with them while taking their food at the same time. You never know how much you can save just by doing that.

One..

Two…

Three.

Another part of saving money is being wise and stingy in stationery. In college, do not use PEN as they also allow you to USE PENCILS. Save money on ink and use Pencils. The pen was always mightier than the sword but pencils are far mightier than both of the combine.

Paper? No problem. Recite after me, “Teacher ar, I no paper..” to your chemistry or physics teacher. Make sure you show your puppy face and your blur blur face. And there you go!! Free paper!

Eat Take all you want buffet

Now, all you need is spirit and courage to go through. People from Malaysia no need scared come here, life here is actually cheap if you know the secrets of maintaining a healthy budget. Perth is not expensive but it is the students who make their lives expensive. Just follow few rules of BK’s Ultimate Budget Law and you can forgo you wasteful life to a meaningful life with all your gadgetry needs.

Don’t expect to find kolok mee here like RM2 though. You can always go Mc Donald and eat a cone of ice cream for 50 cents. Wi-Fi also free ma.

What for buy internet? Go Mac Donald free porn surfing

So any enquiries of my Ultimate LAW OF SUPERBERBISH LAW BUDGET, you can always dial my personal line;

04-DO-NA-TION

Thank you.

 

PS: It’s kind’a hard blogging after you fail your physics test…