Virginity Alert

Later Cibai Hooker also got

Shit, a dickhead.

 

Yes, Australians come with the most brilliant franchise names.

Note: My blog is not dead yet. Is just that I’m lazy. Will update shortly

Sanity

• The smell of stainless steel.
• The smell of oily and supposedly good cooked food.
• The smell of ‘Ikan Bilis’ reeking into my door.
• The budget that is screaming at me “Don’t eat and SAVE!”
• The claustrophobia of an innocent student facing in a small confined room.
• The not-so vague calculus notes that I have to learn.
• The blunt loneliness surrounded by all the well spoken Chinese conversers.
• The annoying landlord that seeks to stalk every movement in the house.
• The brimming stress that exams and test are like every week.
• The unavailability of new Avenged Sevenfold albums
• The closure to final exams that take up to 50% of your term marks.
• The responsibility to get top 3 in Call of Duty : World at War online each game.

How am I suppose to keep my SANITY check?

BK’S Budget Law

Have you ever wanted to get one of these babies?

Mouth Watering..

Or one of these?

Orgasmic…

Or even?

 FUCK yeah…

But you need to bust your piggy bank before dreaming on having any of these. DONT FRET ANYMORE!!! With BK’s Budget law, you never have to have those wet dreams again. You can have your REAL WET ADVENTURES with all your new gadgetry after following just a few steps.

AND NO, you do not have to be like of these kids,

But you can continue living the american dream with BK’S law. Now let me begin;

Things you need to begin your almighty adventure;

• Cereal x 2 each week
• Rice Milk x 2 each week
• Instant Easy Mac x 2 each week
• Rich Friends x ## everyday (The more the merrier)
• Iron body x 1 everyday
• Kiasu Spirit x 100 every hour
•  Canning College Chemistry/Physics Session x 1 every week

Bear in mind the consequences that you may suffer;

You may suffer from severe disorders and permanent stomach derangement. You may also experience headaches and traumas due to lack of solid food and cancerous intake every day. Some also may lose their mental as result they go crazy and may not proceed through the rest of their lives properly. You may also be referred as someone who is selfish and irrelevant to the community of sharing. You may also contract AIDS and HIV due to sharing of food (Blood spillage).

BUT……………. (DUH) you can get some big bucks at the end of the day so who cares about the consequences. Just think, DSLR in your grabby wetty hands, wankering with the PS3 and caressing the iPhone 3GS at the very moment, you soon will forget everything and strive for the goal you once and always dreamt of.

Upper relation : Stationery. Bottom relation : Consumables. X-Axis : Money thrown away (Days). Y-Axis : Money kept for selfish humanitarian efforts (AUD)

From there, we can see that Canning and probably applicable to most overseas student the net growth of their money. Possibly in the mid term holidays or the end of year holidays, the individual who followed my instruction carefully may indeed get their dream item. Therefore we can see a breaking point in both of these time frame. So go save the rest and spend at the end of the year.

***

Consumables can be taken as the most USELESS necessity that we have to buy. What for we buy something that ends up coming from our A-Hole in the end? This is preposterous. Therefore, by reducing such needs, we can save much money for our USEFUL items that cannot be eaten but are utilize properly.

So, if we were to consume food, we must take great measures to reduce our diet and prepare for the upcoming stomach growling that can be heard in early mornings of our classrooms.

What you may have for breakfast?

Dogs can eat human food, so why cant human eat theirs?

What you may have for lunch?

 

If Bosnia kids can do it, why cant we?

What you may have for dinner?

Ditch those solid food and grab some nutritious cereal. You may even get free reading material from it TO IMPROVE YOUR VOCAB AT THE SAME TIME. How is that two for one shot?

WAH. Now I can improve my knowledge while eating my FAVOURITE cereal.

But on Tuesdays, you may bulge a little by heading to where all Communists Asians and Whites flock to everyday. Call it heaven, call it cheap but I call it 5.99! for one whole pizza!

Dominoes!!! Mans new best friend

You can also learn from Singaporeans the form of the KIASU SPIRIT or manipulate rich friends for your needs. Just stand by at the canteen door until you see one of your well trusted and beloved friends during lunch time, and when they buy wedges or chips, raid the table where they are sitting and pretend you are very close with them while taking their food at the same time. You never know how much you can save just by doing that.

One..

Two…

Three.

Another part of saving money is being wise and stingy in stationery. In college, do not use PEN as they also allow you to USE PENCILS. Save money on ink and use Pencils. The pen was always mightier than the sword but pencils are far mightier than both of the combine.

Paper? No problem. Recite after me, “Teacher ar, I no paper..” to your chemistry or physics teacher. Make sure you show your puppy face and your blur blur face. And there you go!! Free paper!

Eat Take all you want buffet

Now, all you need is spirit and courage to go through. People from Malaysia no need scared come here, life here is actually cheap if you know the secrets of maintaining a healthy budget. Perth is not expensive but it is the students who make their lives expensive. Just follow few rules of BK’s Ultimate Budget Law and you can forgo you wasteful life to a meaningful life with all your gadgetry needs.

Don’t expect to find kolok mee here like RM2 though. You can always go Mc Donald and eat a cone of ice cream for 50 cents. Wi-Fi also free ma.

What for buy internet? Go Mac Donald free porn surfing

So any enquiries of my Ultimate LAW OF SUPERBERBISH LAW BUDGET, you can always dial my personal line;

04-DO-NA-TION

Thank you.

 

PS: It’s kind’a hard blogging after you fail your physics test…