All in a Days Work

Troll : Oh great, another dead blog.

Bryan : Sorry lo..

That is my most sincerest apology to all of you.

Yes, I declared that my blog is NOT dead... it was just in a coma. So, finally I've decided to post something out though I don't expect it to be extraordinary. Currently, I'm in Kuching yet again after completing my first semester in the GOD FORSAKEN place called PERTH. If you parents ever suggested to go to Perth, reject immediately. Honestly, it just suck ballz bad.

So I graduated from my Foundation years and now pursuing my studies in Commerce/Computer Science. Commerce.. is plain boring especially accounting. Why? Because NOT only you have to balance figures whole day but you have to see all this boring and weird ass terms;  P/L Summary (Penis & Lanjiao), Lubrication and so on.

How about Computer Science? Heard its FREAKING COOL, you get to create games, build monster machines to support Crysis, create flash video and games and create awesome websites. 

Anyone tells you that is a FREAKING FOOL. You get to delv into less COOL than it sounds coding languages named after a Coffee, JAVA and from a failed physics equation, C++ & C# and those wierd other codes. It's like learning Mandarin all over again. Take for example (avoid syntax errors please);

public boolean isHeAFucker() {

if (IQ < 50) {

return yes;

} else { if ( IQ < 25)

illegalArgumentException ("not only a Fucker but also a Retard");

}

Yes, if you don't understand shit means your normal.

Anyway, all I'm going to tell you now is to pick your courses wisely, especially those furthering their studies overseas which cost pretty much as their grandmama's property today for just a single degree course. And for those who picked their decisions wrongly but have a chance to change before they inccur a bigger expense at your budget, do change it quick. You do not want to be wasting your LIFE on something as stupid as CHEMICAL ENGINEERING which reduces your lifespan by half cause your like breathing chemicals the rest of your life. WOOPS! Did I say something offensive?

Cheers.

PS. Cat Ownage. 

Imma' going to smack your FACE you pussy.... cat

Bilik “Termenung”

The title literally means the dreaming room. Gone are the days that I remember that my school toilet cubicles were labelled as “Bilik Termenung 1”, “Bilik Termenung 2”, etc from graffiti by our beloved creative students (Malaysian students often fantasize their ‘ wet dreams’ awfully too ‘real’ in toilets) Apparently, Australians also do in fact have this urge to do the same art.

Look at how brilliant Canning Students are..

in illustrating their ideas

Somewhat, Australians do have this knack of publishing ideas “theoretically true” at the same time. A sense of teamwork let alone the leadership shown in creating art is clearly expressed in the canvas. Brilliant how our young kids progress these days aren’t they?

As I was about to engage myself in activities in the toilet I was mesmerize by how well thought this graffiti were. They were placed at the finest spots where I felt proud for once to be a human. The male species especially.

It did clearly explain how sexual intercourse was initiated.

That’s why vibrators became a more popular toy

In an instant I was proudly aiming my toy around the toilet bowl, watching the yellowish- liquid swirl around the rimming of the white spotless bowl, knowing what men was actually capable of. Creating life, reproducing, trading genetic information and induce an unexplainable pleasure.

And when you do miss someone dearly,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…do not hesitate. Aim.

Dicks are such useful organs.

But even graffiti wasn’t only limited to students. Teachers also have the capacity to indulge in such luxurious activities.

Unfortunately it was on my calculator that he found.

Don’t tell me why I left the sticker there, but it has outstanding novelty value

PS: I lost my calculator in the physics lab then he returned or borrowed (as he stated) the next day. Though much thanks are given to him. =)

So if your ever lost, in need of help. Just pay a visit to the toilet and make new friends just with a marker in expense. You never know what you may find.

Life's difficult question answered

 

Taken from http://xkcd.com/229/ (In text referencing duh)

I are Study

Sick and tired..

I apologies for my late posts as I was apparently busy with workloads of assignments and upcoming exams. Most probably I’ll return to my regular blogging after my mid-Semester exams are over, in the 11th of July maybe.

As you can see I’m quite a busy man. When I stepped into the city called Perth, I decided that I will change for the better. I will thrive in my studies like others. Compete for marks like the rest of us. Avoid temptation and distraction. Concentrate on only one thing, books and papers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

***

And as you all know, I failed..

Pink Elephants are awesome creatures!!

‘Cane’ ning College

As winter approaches, the temperature and climate became the least of Canning Student problems. This endeavour of ‘homeworking’ and the gruesome task of repetitive assignments  became not only a preparation but a part of us.

“We live, We breath, We eat assignments like the real man and women we are”

April start students are not only being force to undertake this blatantly impossible task but tries to avoid committing themselves to the sin of our very hearts. Procrastination and Laziness.

A tablet of knowledge resides at my table

Consequently, the efforts of our so-called endeavours are only to be met with failures and sinful acts. “There is still hope..” someone said to me. Was it from the above? Was in my heart that I needed to go on without any clue what is to happen to me?

With brimming flare of hope, I scrambled books from my bag then took out a yellowish book that is rightfully name “Calculus”. As I was about to feast my eyes onto continuity and differentiability, the devil stood upon me;

 

I knew I had no chance..

“I call and summon you to grab a Thompson Sub-Machinegun and blast your way to kingdom come while showing those ‘commies’ how it was done in Multiplayer..” a unanimous voice whispered.

I gave up hope and dive into this world of nerdy swearing world of Multiplayer.

I now finally know, the devil himself that steals money from little children and teenagers like me;

 

The world of ORIGINAL gaming

College life, a brief summary.

College Life

(Sorry no pictures for this post)

DO NOT BELIEVE THOSE LIES YOU HEAR FROM YOUR TUTORS OR TEACHERS. COLLEGE LIFE IS NOT ANY BETTER THAN SECONDNARY SCHOOL BUT IT IS ALOT MORE HELLISH WORST.

That only possibly applies to me cause I am the one who made this awful yet fruitful decision to come in April for the April Start.

Imagine, half past six, you wake up feeling giddy from the homework you done yesterday and you quickly get ready to catch a bus in like about an hour before it arrives.

In college, you will be shivering your pants and shirt of due to the cold weather in autumn even with all that thick clothing you have on. After a few minutes, you will be rushed to a classroom and beckon to listen to the lecturers whether they care or not. Your homework piles up.

After the first session of agony, you again will be rushed to another so called classroom to do more studying and absorbing. With your favoured pen running out of ink that only sells in Kuching, you are forced to use other materials to succeed to the teachers needs. Your homework piles up even more.

Whereas when it reaches Lunch Break, you noticed that you have 20 to 30 minutes to ‘enjoy’ your freaking meal before going to another class because of some nerds bright idea to decrease our time so that we can spend more time doing Applicable Maths.

Your homework piles up yet again.

Then when you thought you are free to go, you looked at your watch and it says there, a quarter past 5 in the evening. You have nothing much to do but go back by bus, and eat your meal then go back to your homestay to do all your homework and possibly do some of your assignments plus your studies as well (Facebook is part of my homework though).

Your brain slowly undergoes mental retardation and miniature sizing before it reaches a absolute hypertonic type solution. Your bodily fluids starts to flow backwards then your eyes start to turn blue. A pair of glasses popped out in front of your eyes, your clothing suddenly become alot more skimpy, then your shirts tucked in all of the sudden. You look yourself at the mirror while holding a chess piece, “YOU LEVELED UP INTO A NERD”.

Kuching University students, you better count yourself lucky for not coming here. It is mental torture here. You will be not only tested, you will be fried.

Results

 Cibai Damn Nice Results

I am officially a suku nang (Stupid person). 4A1’s, 2A2’s and 4B3’s is the the crappiest result a person like me can get. You never know those B3’s can be like 2 marks before you get an A. Argh. I am Stupid!

I guess I can’t worry too much about it. Now is the time to collect Ang Pow for myself xD.

The Damai Post will resume now.

I are study there.

They have their own pen. How cool is that. xD

It’s confirm (Well it’s actually confirm long ago). I am studying there. I’ll be going to Western Australia, Perth in the early April. I also already met the Deputy Principal of the school.  For those who don’t know, now you know =P. Don’t jealous jealous yea, it’s not good for your health.

Look like Santubong Resort

As for now, I didn’t have the mood to post today about the day 2 of Damai cause was obviously busy worrying about tomorrow which is the SPM result. Your hopes and prayers around the world will depend our results. So… Do pray!

Do keep on reading for Day 2 of the Damai Puri escapades

Am I missing SPM??

Totally not! There is seem to be a dozen speculation that SPM result will be coming out at 13 March. For now, I still in doubt that it will come out that date. Probably it will be on the 12 March. Or 11 March cause it seems to follow a downward trend as in 2007 it came out at 13, 2008 at 12, 2009… Go figure.

 

 

For now, I actually heard that SPM this year will be earlier. When I said earlier, I meant it will start at the 1ST NOVEMBER. Call that luck or insanity.

Here’s the proof. Otherwise it may only be a false alarm.

SPM CADANGAN JADUAL WAKTU

SPM Blues : Part 4

During SPM you may suffer from;

1) Overplaying the same boring songs

Play count malfunction

2) Feed your brains with more annoying songs

Hitz doesn’t sound that hip anymore

3) Drinking mutilated chicken meat

A bottle cost about RM6

4) Messing up your safe haven

Books! Please leave me alone

5) Obtaining a new netbook (Maybe that’s just me)

I’m sorry I didn’t spend enough time with you lappy

6) Dreaming of gluttonous sinful food

Mee Sapi!

7) Slacking off

Just 1 more match! Promise! =P

8) Long hair atonement for all the years in school

Long hair! But still not long enough

SPM Blues : Part 3

ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS = 1 WORD

Paper 1 = Smooth Sailing

Paper 2 = Freaking, Godly, Hard!

Literally Cibai paper

Those people who take last year SPM Additional Mathematics Paper should be extremely thankful that the ministry provided you guys with pure Additional Mathematics questions while ours, are like Advanced Additional Mathematics questions!

Seriously, is the ministry is telling us to inject heroin and steroids into our head so we can pump more brain power?

Otherwise we can always;

Protest

SPM Blues : Part 2

4 down, 6 more to go

Words from Bryan to these 4 subjects;

KISS MY ASS GOODBYE

Possibly, the only test in my life that I sat through furiously thinking, “Man, these papers are nice to look at”

I spent nearly a minute gawking at the colour

Nevertheless, there are still complaints for the SPM examinations as always.

Firstly, Math was too damn easy and ultimately made me do more careless mistakes. WTF! 33/40 for paper 1. That couldn’t be me. Though sadly it is.

Paper 2 was quick to say that it was not too damn hard and easy. But in short, it was still easy as monkey. Though still, think ahead, those Orang Pedalaman have to have their share of education too.

English? What English?

Sadly, I had to pick the most cliché title of them all. I wonder why did they selected stars as one of the selections. The probability of a person picking that is barely 1 over the whole school.

History was History since yesterday!

KBKK was the highlight of the day for History paper. Every nook and crany of 5c 6c 7c 8c 9c, 1e 2e 3e 4e was KBKK question. In short, it means use your brain questions.

“People who don’t study in Sejarah also BOLEH dapat PASS,” quote Jeffery.

That is so “not” true.

Inspite the comments of History being the hardest paper in SPM, it remains quite untrue when it comes to sitting in SPM.

There you go, some encouragement for all of you.

Now for some trash talking;

Aspire One

That lil comp beside the bigger one you ask?

That’s mine.

Update : Grammartical mistakes corrected

SPM (Sex + Pre + Menstrual)

Ever imagine what happens if your having intercourse then the menstrual cycle started revving their engines.

WTF!OMG!BBQ!

That is what SPM Examination means to us. Were about to hit the centre stage of all holidays then this fucking exam comes to penetrate in your dick or vagina then tells you, this is your future! God damnit!

Studying is like a game of chess

At first, with burning usaha like a semangat yang membara-bara, you opened the book and said, this is not going to be that hard. With a highlighter and a pen, you jotted down all the notes and highlighted all the printed notes that seems important. In the end, after the second page, you started to slack and flip over and over the other pages and you noticed the last page is 453. You then looked at yourself. This is going to take forever.

“Just few books la. Don’t worry la”

You finished a chapter then you heaved a sign of relief. You looked around the room and noticed;

“This is going take an eternity”

OK. Maybe there is some books but I can’t give up cause of that. You wanted to try another different book when you again noticed;

“Cibai”

This is what educated people go through. Those orang pedalaman should be thankful they never have to go through this. God bless them.

You never know you will become something like this guy;

“Hi my name is John. Are you black?”

SPM Blues : Part 1

Second Trial Exam Results = POOR

A glimpse of that word can tell you my terrible exam results. Such a pity that possibly I won't be able to ascertain a good job in the future. *Cries*

• Malay : 63
• English : 93
• History : 64
• Morale : 34
• Maths : 84
• EST: 83
• Add. Maths : 52
  
• Physics : 69
• Chemistry : 57
• Biology : 55
• Average Marks : 65.4

How am I suppose to achieve that target of 6A ~ 7A. Well, the probability of them lowering the standard is quite low. Imagine, any 2 digit numbers in Add. Maths is called PASSED. 10 marks = PASS!
Man, I sucked at morale. Dah lah I orang tidak bermoral^^ Screw up the format pretty badly.

Last Year SPM results (Passing Rate)

What?? They can't even score 10 marks in Additional Mathematics? Pities*
Sides that, Good Luck in SPM everyone.