A pitiful yet aspiring post

 

This BLOG is not DEAD yet.

Sorry about the slow posts lately. Want to use time in Malaysia to the utmost fullest, or rather been busy with gaming/lepaking lately.

I reassure you I will continue updating soon as patience and ideas come not everytime. Well, that’s all for now, I’ll just leave a little something to tell you guys what I am busy about =)

My crack =)

Besides, if there as anyone that can recommend me to a Guitar Hero Game Bundle for the XBOX 360, please tell me PUH-LEASE!!!

Thank you. Now I’m back to sniffing my crack.

Who The F

NuffNang

As I was browsing and checking on my blog stats which should had been done aeons ago, I noticed that something was awkwardly wrong.

Yes, alot of people do like my computer

But wait a minute..

Zzz… That better be Burger King

In between

Ain’t lifes a bitch? Personally I think that it’s pretty much unfair that pure freedom is in between pure foul agony. I’ll be sitting some big ass exam called WAUFP which is something similar to SPM. And basically the jist of it is; if you screwed this up, your dead, no future, no fcuking life and no dreams.

“Screw it I say” Struggle for this few last days and your home free.

If it wasn’t for Borderlands and Torchlight keeping me away from my books, I’ll gladly spend 6 hours in front of books everyday. Well I actually did barely touch any of the games but temptation grows stronger everytime I proceed to my subjects. Think about it;

 

When your reading Physics projectiles;

You started thinking of projectile weapons

When your sucking up to Applicable sets;

You started thinking of purple inventory items to collect to boost up your stats tremendously

When your bitching over Chemistry acids and bases;

You started thinking of corrosive shots and elemental status that you can inflict on enemies

 

And to make matters worst;

Bond day (aka. Payday) is on the day of my ELACS test. Damn you.

Therefore Australia is no better than Malaysia. TNB AND KNN to the core.

 

At least I graduated from Canning (sad news is every International Students will graduate even with ‘suku’ result).

 

Zzz Photo

Short post before I get back to studying. Thank guys. *shed shed fake tears

Fail Ronald McDonald

Aw.. How Cute

McDonald is teaching kids on the values on reading. Reading on what le?

 

  CheeBye, I knew something “Go Up”

I LOVE reading books! They can TAKE YOU TO PLACES YOU CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT… IMAGINE THAT! (Places I can IMAGINE)

The mosaic was to shield your eyes from agony and keep this blog at a “Everyone” rating. Damn an erection… And his showing off his ass to the whole world at the same time. Kids and Happy Meal…. Happy Time doesn’t that resemble something. Go figure

 

New  pubical “things”

It’s fun to explore new things. I’m loving it.

Michael Jackson sure has descended from heaven. Make sure he don’t “Ta Pau”.

Bitchy Days

As the time I’m writing now, there is 27 more days before I reach to the end of my journey… AWW CUT THE CRAP.

I’m going to see all those peeps back in Kuching and finally get to experience Malaysia like a Malaysian. As you may wondered, why am I going all goofy on somewhat a BORING AND INDECENT place like Kuching? Let ME tell you one thing, when you live somewhere else, you do have this sense of insecurity inside oneself and you feel loneliness that you may have never experience.

FCUK, let me give you some insightful examples;

You start acting like a bitch/KENNY

You feel small in this BIG WORLD

Now you understand why some people go gay or awkwardly crazy when they are out from their original states they were born into. But no, that’s not it. With so much assignments, test and exams reaping into your door every moment, you ALSO start cursing foul words and turn/twist different profanity to express your sorrows and anger.

Eg.

NICK (This does depict any real person) : CHEEBYE. 98 in Physics NIA!

Bryan : ZZZ…

~~~

YII FUNG (This also does not depict any real person) : Aiya never study one la. Chemistry also very hard for me le.

The following day.

YII FUNG : 95% NIA!

Bryan : ZZZ.. Bitch

~~~

How about those many times where words are used indecently and involuntary as our mouth muscles are not in control? You tried to control your motor mouth and show that you are indeed a downright down-to-earth goodwill person but it just came out of the sudden. This is what we call

GLOBALIZATION

Don’t you think its wierd when you hear Africans say CHEEBYE out of nowhere. Hokkien people should be praise of their efforts in educating the global community. Why is that so? Cheebye, Lanjiao, Kan Ni Na, Pu bo, Pu Kang is some of the most common words used today. And where did it came form, us HOKKIENS. WE SHOULD BE PROUD AS I am indeed proud to be one of this visionaries.

Before I stray too far, let me get back.

Bitch!

CheeBye!

Awesome!

Damn!

Yes, my world is filled with this type of westernised and hokkienized words. That is what I learnt in Australia. This words can be indeed useful.

So I’m telling you, there is no wrong in profaning everyday. It is used everytime. If anyone is to say that were you raised in the longkang, you can always say that my MUMMY AND PAPA ALSO SAY THAT WHEN DRIVING LE. OK, done deal.

As soon as we learn the many ways to communicate, we can even write pitiful stories with profanity to give it more feeling.

 

 

~~~

Girl : I want you to bring me to somewhere expensive ok, not KFC.

Lanjiao Boyfriend.

Virginity Alert

Later Cibai Hooker also got

Shit, a dickhead.

 

Yes, Australians come with the most brilliant franchise names.

Note: My blog is not dead yet. Is just that I’m lazy. Will update shortly

Sanity

• The smell of stainless steel.
• The smell of oily and supposedly good cooked food.
• The smell of ‘Ikan Bilis’ reeking into my door.
• The budget that is screaming at me “Don’t eat and SAVE!”
• The claustrophobia of an innocent student facing in a small confined room.
• The not-so vague calculus notes that I have to learn.
• The blunt loneliness surrounded by all the well spoken Chinese conversers.
• The annoying landlord that seeks to stalk every movement in the house.
• The brimming stress that exams and test are like every week.
• The unavailability of new Avenged Sevenfold albums
• The closure to final exams that take up to 50% of your term marks.
• The responsibility to get top 3 in Call of Duty : World at War online each game.

How am I suppose to keep my SANITY check?

BK’S Budget Law

Have you ever wanted to get one of these babies?

Mouth Watering..

Or one of these?

Orgasmic…

Or even?

 FUCK yeah…

But you need to bust your piggy bank before dreaming on having any of these. DONT FRET ANYMORE!!! With BK’s Budget law, you never have to have those wet dreams again. You can have your REAL WET ADVENTURES with all your new gadgetry after following just a few steps.

AND NO, you do not have to be like of these kids,

But you can continue living the american dream with BK’S law. Now let me begin;

Things you need to begin your almighty adventure;

• Cereal x 2 each week
• Rice Milk x 2 each week
• Instant Easy Mac x 2 each week
• Rich Friends x ## everyday (The more the merrier)
• Iron body x 1 everyday
• Kiasu Spirit x 100 every hour
•  Canning College Chemistry/Physics Session x 1 every week

Bear in mind the consequences that you may suffer;

You may suffer from severe disorders and permanent stomach derangement. You may also experience headaches and traumas due to lack of solid food and cancerous intake every day. Some also may lose their mental as result they go crazy and may not proceed through the rest of their lives properly. You may also be referred as someone who is selfish and irrelevant to the community of sharing. You may also contract AIDS and HIV due to sharing of food (Blood spillage).

BUT……………. (DUH) you can get some big bucks at the end of the day so who cares about the consequences. Just think, DSLR in your grabby wetty hands, wankering with the PS3 and caressing the iPhone 3GS at the very moment, you soon will forget everything and strive for the goal you once and always dreamt of.

Upper relation : Stationery. Bottom relation : Consumables. X-Axis : Money thrown away (Days). Y-Axis : Money kept for selfish humanitarian efforts (AUD)

From there, we can see that Canning and probably applicable to most overseas student the net growth of their money. Possibly in the mid term holidays or the end of year holidays, the individual who followed my instruction carefully may indeed get their dream item. Therefore we can see a breaking point in both of these time frame. So go save the rest and spend at the end of the year.

***

Consumables can be taken as the most USELESS necessity that we have to buy. What for we buy something that ends up coming from our A-Hole in the end? This is preposterous. Therefore, by reducing such needs, we can save much money for our USEFUL items that cannot be eaten but are utilize properly.

So, if we were to consume food, we must take great measures to reduce our diet and prepare for the upcoming stomach growling that can be heard in early mornings of our classrooms.

What you may have for breakfast?

Dogs can eat human food, so why cant human eat theirs?

What you may have for lunch?

 

If Bosnia kids can do it, why cant we?

What you may have for dinner?

Ditch those solid food and grab some nutritious cereal. You may even get free reading material from it TO IMPROVE YOUR VOCAB AT THE SAME TIME. How is that two for one shot?

WAH. Now I can improve my knowledge while eating my FAVOURITE cereal.

But on Tuesdays, you may bulge a little by heading to where all Communists Asians and Whites flock to everyday. Call it heaven, call it cheap but I call it 5.99! for one whole pizza!

Dominoes!!! Mans new best friend

You can also learn from Singaporeans the form of the KIASU SPIRIT or manipulate rich friends for your needs. Just stand by at the canteen door until you see one of your well trusted and beloved friends during lunch time, and when they buy wedges or chips, raid the table where they are sitting and pretend you are very close with them while taking their food at the same time. You never know how much you can save just by doing that.

One..

Two…

Three.

Another part of saving money is being wise and stingy in stationery. In college, do not use PEN as they also allow you to USE PENCILS. Save money on ink and use Pencils. The pen was always mightier than the sword but pencils are far mightier than both of the combine.

Paper? No problem. Recite after me, “Teacher ar, I no paper..” to your chemistry or physics teacher. Make sure you show your puppy face and your blur blur face. And there you go!! Free paper!

Eat Take all you want buffet

Now, all you need is spirit and courage to go through. People from Malaysia no need scared come here, life here is actually cheap if you know the secrets of maintaining a healthy budget. Perth is not expensive but it is the students who make their lives expensive. Just follow few rules of BK’s Ultimate Budget Law and you can forgo you wasteful life to a meaningful life with all your gadgetry needs.

Don’t expect to find kolok mee here like RM2 though. You can always go Mc Donald and eat a cone of ice cream for 50 cents. Wi-Fi also free ma.

What for buy internet? Go Mac Donald free porn surfing

So any enquiries of my Ultimate LAW OF SUPERBERBISH LAW BUDGET, you can always dial my personal line;

04-DO-NA-TION

Thank you.

 

PS: It’s kind’a hard blogging after you fail your physics test…

Durian!

Myth or Fact?

PS: Just experimenting with macro shots.

Bilik “Termenung”

The title literally means the dreaming room. Gone are the days that I remember that my school toilet cubicles were labelled as “Bilik Termenung 1”, “Bilik Termenung 2”, etc from graffiti by our beloved creative students (Malaysian students often fantasize their ‘ wet dreams’ awfully too ‘real’ in toilets) Apparently, Australians also do in fact have this urge to do the same art.

Look at how brilliant Canning Students are..

in illustrating their ideas

Somewhat, Australians do have this knack of publishing ideas “theoretically true” at the same time. A sense of teamwork let alone the leadership shown in creating art is clearly expressed in the canvas. Brilliant how our young kids progress these days aren’t they?

As I was about to engage myself in activities in the toilet I was mesmerize by how well thought this graffiti were. They were placed at the finest spots where I felt proud for once to be a human. The male species especially.

It did clearly explain how sexual intercourse was initiated.

That’s why vibrators became a more popular toy

In an instant I was proudly aiming my toy around the toilet bowl, watching the yellowish- liquid swirl around the rimming of the white spotless bowl, knowing what men was actually capable of. Creating life, reproducing, trading genetic information and induce an unexplainable pleasure.

And when you do miss someone dearly,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…do not hesitate. Aim.

Dicks are such useful organs.

But even graffiti wasn’t only limited to students. Teachers also have the capacity to indulge in such luxurious activities.

Unfortunately it was on my calculator that he found.

Don’t tell me why I left the sticker there, but it has outstanding novelty value

PS: I lost my calculator in the physics lab then he returned or borrowed (as he stated) the next day. Though much thanks are given to him. =)

So if your ever lost, in need of help. Just pay a visit to the toilet and make new friends just with a marker in expense. You never know what you may find.

Life's difficult question answered

 

Taken from http://xkcd.com/229/ (In text referencing duh)

Eating Outside

You were prepared for dinner your friends cooked then you eagerly await that final seasoning he had to put in. The smell was sinfully excruciating filled with overdosed pepper and a tint of basil on top.  Grasping the cutlery tightly, you were about to feast your eyes on the most so thought fascinating food that he had promised.

Snow White Fried Rice

Sorry about my absence lately. Been lazy these couple of weeks but I finally updated my blog with an entry that I always wanted to post since I came here. And you guess it (alternatively it’s already stated in the title), it is about consumables.

When you first arrive in Australia, you will thought that it will be in a bustle of clean restaurants, fine dining popping up every mile, finger licking good fast food and corner wine stores, and yes all of that is certainly true. Though, it lacks of one important ingredient that made most Asian countries unique in taste. That is;

Hawker Centres

Photos are all taken from Kuching, Sarawak and may be taken from other blogs. Apologies in advance before bashing starts to occur in my innocent blog.

 

Why would anyone like a store filled with blood sucking mosquitoes, dense filled brown cockroaches, non air-condition buildings, dirty plastic tables and sound pollution in every degrees?

One word, distinctiveTASTE. (That’s one word aint’ it?")

That run down look that foreigners beg to have

Whether they poured detergent all over our mee kolo, you will never ever get to obtain that same taste in Australia at ALL. The environment itself is non comparable with the “Back to Nature” surroundings that Malaysia has. Music itself also isn’t enough to do battle with those soothing ‘Apek and Ama” talk you hear at every kopitiam (Coffee Shop).

Who needs this when you got..

This ‘Authentic’ Asian Look

So Perth itself in my opinion should just do 4 important steps to improve their dining diversity and quality.

P – unPrudence (The lack of carefulness and caution of the food they cook  can resultantly improve the quality and eminence of their menu)

O – Options (A dash of pepper, 0.5mg of Curry Bean Curd, 0.125ml of Soya sauce and a half a bottle of wine in our Broth. Don’t forget to put alot of oil)

R – Reek (Without the sufficient oily, grimy and filthy surroundings, the optimum conditions for food molecules cannot be achieve. That run-down look is a must!)

N – Necessities (If you keep on selling noodles rather than Mee in stores, nothing can be done)

So just remember the 4 steps PORN, watch how people execute this 4 steps, PORN and probably do this 4 steps PORN.

***

So Perth, please, help us bring back that Asian look into our suburbs or cities. We will be entirely glad if you do this for us.

You wouldn’t want to end up in this conversation;

Girl : Eh, wanna’ go Yam cha tonight?

Boy : Ok. Sure very romantic wan.

Girl : Cibiet Boyfriend

For your information, most shops closed at 5.30pm except fast food stores in Perth.

The Definition of Holidays

Taken from Wikipedia;

• Official or unofficial observances of religious, national, or cultural significance, often accompanied by celebrations or festivities
• A general leave of absence from a regular occupation for rest or recreation
• A specific trip or journey for the purposes of recreation or tourism

Taken from Bryan Kho;

“Short”

From left, Singaporean Smartass, Johor Blur Queen, Sibu Blind Man and Gazette X Chef Wannabe

With the availability of friends in Perth close to zero due to the fact that many smelly rich kids went back to M’sia without me, I had to throw myself into an overload and spent my time with this band of brothers.

Holidays are an utter pleasure for some people but it definitely will sink your budget into an overdrive and even more if you are in somewhere new. Take an example, a spindrift female in KL. Though I can’t say more that holidays was indeed enjoyable and sinful at best. My diet wasn’t curbed at all with frequent fast food outings and polysaturated French fries.

My next best place before my homestead

During the early mornings what you can expect during a typical holiday in Perth;

Waiting for Green Busses

Mid afternoons in Perth;

Bracing icy cold sea waters

Visiting the zoo

Fishing in the Cerulean Seas

Late-Afternoons in Perth;

 

Molesting fishes

Getting all excited for nothing

Watch Live Action Jaws

Consequently, everything had an ending. Holidays do end abruptly as a matter of fact. Whether or not time passes by when individuals are having fun or rather God has trick up his sleeves, holidays are probably defined as something unusual and meaningless if that was the case. You do not gain anything in return instead you daddys money for unbeneficial activities. I am one humbly who do not agree with that.

Whattt? You talking to me?

(A overdued serious post)

Holidays are a time for relaxation and freedom. Breaking apart one souls to the environment rather than work loads on just computers and books. Somewhat I did understand people tend to be merely more busy during the holidays going out rather than during their exams. That’s because people find it enjoyable. If studies or university courses are enjoyable such as that, they too will look forward to school itself.

 

A time where people have the right to choose what they wanted to do, innovate and pretend. Now, it’s all about being pretenders of our very souls to each of everyone. Who gives a damn if you had money? That’d make other people happy but do you really need that much money if your spending half of your life doing something that you hate?

Go figure if you were to live your life 24 hours a day with 1/3 of the time spending on your job. Your not sane if you pick something that you didn’t like at all.

***

Holidays are closely related to work and ultimately, college. They work with each other to tell us something. A time to think. A time to choose. A time to conclude. And of course, a time for relaxation. This holiday meant much to me as much as some other pesky mosquitoes lurking in the shadows wanting my blood. It’s a feeling that you can’t forget.

That said, I did had feelings before the holiday. Feelings of insecurity, feelings of hopelessness, feelings of lust, feelings of desire and feelings of deviation from real life. Those feelings never did get me through this holiday smiling every moment but even with that, I did smiled outright inspite of everything’s going to hell. I enjoyed it and learnt something amidst of all the thing that is not going according to plan. I am contented.

***

I want to thank god for bringing me to this so-called sacred place. I want to thank my uncle for sponsoring countless of money. I want to thank my relatives for their support. I want to thank my friends for being friends. I want to thank myself for taking some good photos.

The most unusual bunch makes the worst best holiday

So what have you been doing lately?

I bet mines quite obvious