Recollections

As the author, I want to take a time to do something more personal and more fulfilling to myself. As I engage on something quite sensitive to me, I wish the readers to take heart on what I am going to write. Though this post is not picture heavy and that proves to be one of my most ‘attractive’ feature of this blog, I do hope you appreciate that words are indeed as powerful as pictures itself. Bare with me please.

As you may have know that in sometime early April, I’ll be leaving to down under to further my studies. As this is my first time being overseas for about more than half a year, I have my doubts on succeeding in this awaited and painful journey. Due to the fact that I have been pressurize to the very last bit and made sure every detail of my trip to Aussie is planned accordingly, I also finally started to regret. I am not to say that this chance is plain useless to me as many people never even have got this chance to go overseas to study. I have to count myself a lucky person. But being lucky is another thing, when everything here will be simply left behind once your gone.

From family, friends, your most beloved pet, your most loved person, your awesome rig, your house, your daily life, your favourite food, your culture, your particularly everything have to be left behind. This is hard for me. I can accept changes, but when everything just come to you at once, it’s just hard. For some of my readers out there, I know you must be wondering.

“Who gives a damn about changes, you have the chance of a lifetime to be out there, alone, independent. You are finally free of all your troubles. Your finally going to lead a new life out there and not stuck in a third-world country like Malaysia”

What life I am going to lead. A successful one or a dreadful one? Freedom also comes with a price. Responsibility. With people around you cheering your back, people spending tens of thousands of AUD on you, people you love missing every bit of you, consequently, that is a big responsibility that you have to carry.

This is what I am experiencing right now. A life with many possibilities all undertaken by just one decision. A decision will ultimately change how the way you live and how the way you feel about yourself. I am certain that with every decision that you have made, the more you start to regret. And the more you regret, the more you will despair. But as all old grannys, uncles, friends, teachers, and most other human beings will say, it all comes from hard work that you will succeed with every big decision that you have made. I humbly agreed on that.

So to that, I finally ranted out something that I wish to say a long time ago. But before that, I wish to ultimately, thank my uncle for financing my studies in Australia. Without him, I can’t help it but have this feeling being overshadowed by my people around me. To my friends out there, I’m sorry for leaving you guys in the dirt, but I’ll come back soon enough. I’m terribly sorry. I feel the pain of leaving you guys as much as leaving myself from Kuching.

Do comment about my post as I finally enabled comments in my blog. Do make it comforting and reassuring though. Thank you for your time.